my new siblings

Ma just started her new job less than a month ago. And she was actually allowed to attend their annual D&D, where they will always have their never-so-lucky-for-me lucky draw. And she bagged the first prize. Out of thousands of staff, notably more old-birds. I didn't understand why she had that luck, though she claims, up to this day, that it has everything to do with the new fish she got from my uncle that fateful afternoon. You see, the trend in Singapore now is the much-hyped LuoHan fish. One tiny fish can give you the prosperity that you've been craving for all your life. Oh would you believe that! We now have 2 luohans in a tiny tank in the hall. One's called Ah Fu. The other, Ah Gui. Irresistable names, since Fu Gui means prosperity. So that makes it a double shot of prosperity for my family.

Sometimes they make me jealous. They never get yelled at when they dirty their habitat. They never get screamed at when they don't finish their food. In fact, all the garbage they're producing gets cleaned up without a snort of complaint from Ma. They have unconsciously taken over the apple-of-the-eye position in my family. Or is it apples-of-the-eye? Even I, the victim, has been unknowingly brainwashed by these unscrupulous villains into their fanclub. I bought them a plastic tortoise for company! Can you fucking believe that?! I have spent my precious minutes staring at them swim in that tank, waving that pen with a blue cap outside that tank just to let them play chase. I'm guilty of talking to them like they are babies, and I'm certain as hell that between themselves, they must be laughing their scales off at me being a moron. Will someone come pull me out of this evil ring?!

Just last week, while we were watching TV in the hall, we heard this rap-a-tap tapping. Yes we know that it was Ah Fu and Ah Gui playing with the pebbles. I swear, my parents looked at each other, and smiled. I goddamn swear upon my life.

jinx

I am the official jinx back at home. Nothing leaves my jinxy hands safely. In hokkien, they call me suay. I never got to hold my sister's new phone until it wasn't new. All because anything could happen to that poor new phone once it's in my hands. The lights at home, let's talk about those lovely lights we have at home. Anyone with half a molecule of general knowledge would know that bulbs do go out in time to come. You know, new bulbs become old bulbs when the time comes. They burn out. I was officially tagged JINX because of those evil-plotting bulbs. Pa almost had a dogtag, JINX engraved on it, done for me to wear it around my neck for the rest of my life.

That not-so-fine day, I skipped happily into my room, and tried to switch on the light. Alas! It flickered. And flickered. And flickered. And it went on flickering. There was no other way but to tell Pa that the bulb wasn't going to make it. And it really was coincidence that I was the one again to break the dreary news to him.

" You really suay! It had been ok all the whille! Everyone else had no problems with it. But the moment you came back and tried to switch it on, it blows! You're really good at making people angry ah!"

See. I was just an innocent little girl who bumped into a fused bulb in my own room. Thus, ever since that day, I have been labelled JINX. People who knows about it thinks my Pa is ridiculous. Yet amazingly, I am more amused than offended. I find the whole idea of being a jinx hilarious. I am the jinx of the family! Some status!

part ii

I'm back, three days later. Anyway, as I was saying, I have begun enjoying my life as it is. Besides the lack of money maybe. But other than that, everything else seems perfect. Oh, maybe exclude Ma's nagging incessantly. Maybe then everything else would be good. So the challenge now is, how to continue with this kind of lifestyle with a fat wallet and a happy Ma? I will accept any ideas and suggestions. Email me at socquila@ihavepms.com.

part i

My workday should start at 9am. Allowance, 30 minutes. So it's 9.30am. My average day starts when I wake up at 11am. Oh. So what do I do? I wake up, take a shower, fix myself my measly brunch (usually consists of bread and water), and drag myself out of the house. I know, I should start reflecting on my work attitude. But hey! I'm like a damn volunteer now! Well, I'm not paid. Yet. So I'm a volunteer at P*******t. Who cares if I come through the door at 1pm everyday. At least I appear through that door everyday. Let's not talk about the timing.

What is getting bad is the fact that I'm enjoying this kind of lifestyle. So much! I love waking up when the sun is shining right on my ass. I love waking up to an empty flat. Ma just mentioned in the morning that I'll die if I start working. A real job, not these weird jobs.... oops. I have to go. My game kakis are waiting for me to join the game.

I haven't been extra busy. I just don't know what to write.

it's that or that

In life, you always come to situations where you'd have to choose a T-shirt to wear. The T-shirt situation, it is known as. Though there isn't much choices off the shelf. Not your typical departmental store, the situational store offers only 2 options. The Guilt T-shirt, or the Resentment T-shirt. Oh, and did I mention that once in the store, you might have to wear whatever T-shirt the storeowner throws at you? Right, let me help you understand the workings of this theory.

eg. Tarzan & Jane lives happily in the jungle. One day, Jane gets an offer to teach at this ape-school in another jungle, and she tries to persuade Tarzan to go along. Tarzan, having lived in his jungle all his life, decides that he'd prefer to stay rather than go. Thus, Jane stays because Tarzan is reluctant. So you see, in this situation, Tarzan has worn the Guilt T-shirt because he had made Jane give up something she really wants. And Jane, wearing this Resentment T-shirt, because she had really wanted to go to the other jungle but had stayed because Tarzan is reluctant.

3 days later...

Tarzan decides that he should make Jane happy, and he announces that he'll move to the other jungle with her. Jane of course, filled with ecstasy, starts packing her bags and throwing kisses at Tarzan. A week passes, Jane settles down comfortably, but Tarzan is still trying hard to make friends with the animals. Ahh..this time round, Jane throws on the Guilt T-shirt for having made Tarzan leave his comfy little tree-house. And Tarzan, at this point, wears the Resentment T-shirt, and I bet you know why.

See see, the T-shirt situation. And poor Tarzan & Jane. No living happily everafter huh..