confusion

Wonder if I had mentioned, but I am done with the animation internship. It's all over. No, there wasn't any job opportunities like I had expected in the beginning. So I'm all back to square one, jobless. Currently, I'm facing the dilemma of whether to find a proper job like what Ma is expecting, or go on doing the freelance odd jobs here and there. Ma is worried about my CPF account, which I know is only sufficient to buy me less-than-a-year's worth of instant noodles. Should it be my way or Ma's way?

Cousin July has left. He has been invited to that convention which is so so important to his career. It's equivalent to me getting asked to exhibit my works in the Lourve! Come to think of it, I really do need to get my ass out from the shadow and into the circle of light that Lady Luck is shining on him. I'm not implying that Cousin July hasn't been working hard and he got all that he has today due to Lady Luck. I know he has his fair share of diligence and hardwork. Of all people, his is the life that was full of ups and downs. What I'm saying is that he has that edge in life over me. I need that gravely. Though I don't know what that edge is, I need it. I crave for it. Or my life will stay as it is, for the rest of its miserable existence, forever and ever...

If I could have life my way, I would show Ma that I don't need my CPF account to buy my home. I would pay in cash.

a while

It has been a while since I last came on. No I wasn't in any huge trouble. It simply was because of the PC at home. I will not talk much about it lest it should feel like I'm telling everyone about it. These kind of things make it proud. Too proud to do any good to any of us. I have been considering whether I should really invest in a new machine. Like how we've always been taught, I tried considering the pros and the cons. Somehow, I always got lost halfway, so I never really did finish up the business of the consideration. Anyways, let us get the few points off the fingertips. It'll be good to get one so that I can really start learning the whole html business. I would also be able to utilise it for the designs for my imaginary products. And the flash animations commissioned by the imaginary client. My health would also improve since I will never need to burst any major arteries over the long long long long time taken for a simple damn programme to start. I would also have no problems shutting the damn thing off. I would be able to utilise the CD-ROM function. I can have a zip drive. Maybe a CDR. There you have it, the pros. The cons: I have no money. Yes, I can always find money to get that machine. But that money might be the money I need to buy my daily meals for the next three months. I might end up staring at the screen 24/7 with an empty, growling and unhappy stomach. That's the con. The major con.

What should I do?! I think I'll go shred some paper and see if everything falls into place.

in retrospect

Maybe I'm like Ramses or something, being the jinx. With the curses and all. Oh bring me back to that wonderful egyptian era! I would kill Imhotep before he gets all evil. I'll shake Nefertiti's hands. Maybe put rings on her long long neck...