buttermilk and sleeping pills

It has been some time since I last wrote a decent entry in this thing. Life has been a total fuck. Of course it is. Nothing going well at all. Not even a private screening "only for VIPs" salvaged the run-down days. The animation was a distasteful B-grade buttermilk plus ubersour pineapple with grounded sleeping-pills sprinkled onto it. It makes you cringe and sleepy all at the same time. One more cause for distress? Check. I feel old, lifeless, cheap, used and what I really wanna be now is this rich-ass, powerful manipulative bitch who is a slave to an eminent wage...

Someone asked me if I missed my friends back from school, notably my JC. Though I gave a non-hesitant yes, I'm guilty of admitting that that's the furthest I can go. Miss them, that's all. Make an effort to call them and update myself on their recent endeavors? I don't think so. It's un-me to do that, and I've been wondering why for the longest time ever. It's not like I'm too successful and rich to be bothered. It's not like I'm too poor and destitute to look right into their eyes(though poor and destitute is befitting of my present state). I'm not even that shy yet. So I'm just boring and lazy and these two attributes clearly dissuade the thought of looking up old friends. It's crap I know. I'm crap. In truth, there is 1 person I genuinely miss. This one person had been a swell buddy when we were young and were privileged to cram tormenting exams and agonising puberty into our lives all at one go. This person gave me the insight of the other world while he tapped into the resources of mine. We would stand up for each other whenever mean sneering remarks were heard about the other(in retrospect, we must have been quite the trashy somebodies to beget such hostility!!). Everything is too late now. There is no salve for this old wound.


I have been contemplating a list of People I Know/Knew, and it'll be separated into a few categories.
1. Family
2. Relatives
3. Loves (Incl. current squeeze)
4. Friends
5. Classmates
6. Schoolmates
7. Accquaintances
8. Miscellaneous
9. Hates


Don't ask me why I want this list. I have absolutely no friggin idea.

And I realised over these past few months that I share the same mobile number with Jeffrey.